My New Tattoos: 2011

20 Worst Tattoos For Men | Stupid Idiots

We’re not sure why guys get elaborate, over-the-top tattoos (like these 5 Crazy Ronald Regan Tattoos). We just know the people who get them have serious issues we don’t even want to know about (especially, if you got this Patrick Swayze tattoo). That reminds us, we should call our parents. Check out the 20 Tattoos You Don’t Want To Get (If You’re A Guy).

20. The One that Makes You Look Like Skeletor
Needless to say, this man’s dream of becoming a grade school teacher ended the day he picked out this tattoo design. On the bright side, at least he knows what his Halloween costume will be for the rest of his life.

19. The One That’s Sure To Get You Pulled Out Of Line At Airport Security
Nothing irks us more than being subject to extra security at the airport. But, if you’re sporting Osama Bin Laden ink, you have no one to blame but yourself… and the infidel American dogs

18. The One That Makes The Back Of Your Head Look Like David Crosby
As “interesting” as we think this tattoo is, we prefer tattoos that make the backs of people’s heads look like Stephen Stills or Graham Nash.

17. The One That Makes Your Naval Look Like A Cat’s Rectum
There are bad ideas, there are really bad ideas and then there’s this guy. Spending time and money to have this rendered onto you stomach illustrates just how enamored this guy is with the feline poop shoot.

16. The One That Looks Like A Heavy Metal Album Cover
We’ve always wondered what Hell looked like. Now, thanks to this one man’s back, we feel like we’ve got a clear image. Thanks freaky, crazy dude.

15. The One That Proves You’re A Good Catholic
Your grandmother can talk all she wants about how many Rosaries she’s said in the last week, but until she gets some papal ink, you’re the one on God’s good side.

14. The One That Makes A Dead Loved One Look Like A Witch
It’s tough when a loved one dies. It’s even tougher when said loved one has to spend the rest of your life looking like a witch that lives on your shoulder.

13. The One That Answers The Question Of Whether Or Not You Believe In Aliens
Based on this tattoo, we know one thing. There are plenty of unintelligent life forms here at home.

12. The One That Depicts Your Head As A Grand Slam Breakfast
We love a greasy, diner breakfast as much as anyone, but at no point in time have we ever thought that breakfast should find permanent residence on the top of our heads.

11. The One That Clearly Outlines Your Priorities
Some people have a hard time getting their priorities in order. Others are so certain about them they have them painted into their back flesh. Daughter Courtney must be very proud to have beaten out America and “Star Wars” for the top spot.

10. The One that Shows The World Hulkamania Isn’t Dead
“Whatcha gonna do, brother… when Hulkamania runs wild all over your pale, doughy, sorry excuse for a back!”

9. The One That Puts Your Excessive Shoulder Hair To Good Use
There are two types of people in the world. There are the ones who are self-conscious about excessive body hair, and the ones who use that body hair to create horrible tattoos.

8. The One That Illustrates Your Secret Desire To Be A Superhero
Look we all wish we had super powers, but most of us don’t decide to turn our chests into a flesh-torn homage to Spider-Man. We prefer to use that particular area to pay tribute to Captain Planet.

7. The One That Implies E.T. Gave Birth To Jesus
We always thought the idea of a virgin giving birth to the Messiah was a bit of a stretch. What happens when E.T. is that virgin? That’s a belief system we can get behind. (Also, we love flying bicycles.)

6. The One That Implies You Might Inappropriately Love Chunk
Sloth may love Chunk, but we’re not sure how he’d feel about that tattoo.

5. The One that Might Have Helped A Witness Identify You
Police Officer: “Ma’am do you see the man who stole your purse in this police lineup?”
Victim: “Yes, Officer. It’s the guy with the tattoos all over his face.”
Police Officer: “Are you certain?”
Victim: “Uh… yeah.”

4. The One That Crosses A Hot Dog With The Fonz
We’re not exactly sure what this tattoo is supposed to express. We just know this hot dog can turn a jukebox on by hitting it, and he’s really popular with the ladies. He’s also pretty good at water skiing in a leather jacket.

3. The One Of Ed O’Neill
This guys is really excited about the premiere of “Modern Family.”

2. The One That Is Supposed To Be A Little Girl And/Or An Old Woman
The following tattoo is of:
A. A little girl
B. A mature, older woman
C. A satanic doll that can stare into your soul

1. The One That Tells The World You’ve Completely Given Up
If this guy isn’t a serial killer or a board game themed super villain, then he’s clearly missed his calling.